Thursday, July 16, 2009

A Story about M

I'm reading an article about Narcissistic Personality Disorder from Wikis. Commonly known as NPD, it is some kind of psycological disease which is very rare, almost unheard of. It is described as 'a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy'. The victim or patient (whatsoever), which normally called 'The Narcissist', is described as turning inward for gratification rather than depending on others, and as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, and prestige. Narcissistic personality disorder is closely linked to self-centeredness.
My former employer's behavior fit the pattern of someone with NPD. She didn't respect anyone else's boundaries, which meant they felt entitled to bully and criticize until their victims were an absolute mess. They are domineering, blaming, self absorbed, intolerant of other's needs, and used rage as a control tactics. Let me just highlight her name as 'M'. She married to a rich guy (which happened to be husband orang, but she proud of doing it, I guess?). Highly ambitious bitch with a dream to be one of the female corporate raider in oil and gas, she's considered pretty petite. But because of her attitude (or the disease maybe?), she's a total jerk you've ever met.
What confusing are the times when she's okay, because then you think everything is getting better. You know what buttons not to push. But then there are new buttons, and no matter how sorry you are, no matter how hard you try, everything you say and do builds up the tension until there's an explosion.
I managed to work stressfully under her for about a year. Along the time, I knew 'M' for exactly what she was, a narcissist who was incapable of caring about anyone but herself. We, the employee, even her own husband, could never change her, or make her aware of her own flaws. 'M' wanted what she wanted. She didn't understand herself any better then a shark was aware of why it wanted to kill and eat. It just did.
So good luck to her, and to the doomed company. May Allah bless all the staff which still working under that roof.

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